the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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