he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Shame - the story of my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize