she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
