Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize