and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
