I wanna bring you to show and tell
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
