im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
