i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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