I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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