you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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