Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
