I feel great
I just peed on a car
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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