i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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