Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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