How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
