WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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