You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
