Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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