I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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