Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize