Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
