So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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