Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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