Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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