The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
