I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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