Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
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i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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