I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
