He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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