everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
