last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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