It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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