I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
