I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
