hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
