my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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