i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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