Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Pooping to opera.
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