the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
