dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize