She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
