i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
