just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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