try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
