they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
