Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
