I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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