My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Randomize
