I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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