I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love black thongs
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
