I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
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After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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