I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
