i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
