girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
