I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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