she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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