arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
