someone get that fucking seahorse.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
