Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize