No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
