It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
