Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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