Yo dont text me then not text me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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