the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
