Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
