There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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