i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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