SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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