if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
