Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
