Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
